my twins were born. Two gorgeous girls, squirmy with fluid like fish, snuffled into my arms.
Today, ten years later, I am not with you.
I have heard your voices trilling excitedly down the phone about your party, about the presents wrapped in ribbon and paper waiting to be ripped open. As you bubbled down the line to me, did you hear my heart telling you I love you? Did you feel my arms, squeeze like chewing gum all the way down the line to give you a heart-stopping hug?
My children, my babes, my slices of lettuce, my rib-eye steaks, my slices of cheese through pregnancy have become extensions, limbs that walk, that chatter, that weep with fear...and being without you today, is like an amputation. Without you, parts of me are missing and all I see are the shadows where you are not. The rumpled beds where your warm hearts beat at night, your sticky pages which you mark with sweet-savoured hands, and your pillows, hugged in your arms.
Happy birthday my darlings.
I miss you....