a light came into view. I stopped the vomiting, I could eat, I could drink and it stayed in me... Slowly, my sense of humour, and perspective returned. I can get through this.
The walls of that awful well receded to be replaced by open fields swaying with sheaves of corn and sunshine. The chemo tunnel has receded for another three weeks and my number one item on my agenda next appointment with him is 'Why am I throwing up?'. Original huh? Snappy in its own inimitable way....
Thank you to all of you who were so kind on the last post. I cannot express how much your wishes sent virtually through a keyboard and monitor meant to me.
So now I am clear; clear for two and a half weeks before this awful cycle begins again. Tomorrow it is back to work or rather, I shall see how strong I feel. This cycle has depleted me of a substantial part of my energy and my spirit and that must be replenished before I begin to give again...
Sorry to those of you whose blogs I have been unable to visit in the last few days - I shall try to make it up soon.
Minerva
19 comments:
You never mind us and our blogs. Let us be here for you. I'm sending you bright, strong energy for the days to come so you can suck the life right out of them and store up reserves for the next round of chemo.
I'm so freaking proud of you.
Feithy
Hey Min :-D
Great to see you on my blog :-) Knew you must be feeling better if you're cruising the airwaves.
Honey - we are there for you for every cycle, every day and every moment.
And even if we're not there in person, our thoughts and prayers are with you constantly.
Much love from the queen
cq
Hi there! I think this is probably a better way to talk than leaving 'we are thinking of you' messages on your answerphone! Its great that you are thinking that there is light again. I cant imagine what the post chemo feeling is like but if there is anyone I know who will find a way of making it seem funny when you talk about it in ten years time it will be you! I know its easy to say, and must be much harder to do, but hang on in there and think of every bit of that throwing up as the cancer kicking at you as it leaves your body. You want it gone and it wants to stay. Ok so its miles worse than being sick from too much booze but all that practice years ago does have a use....So think of it as the feeling so rough being worth it as it will work (as you can see already) and this dark patch will be just that soon ok?
Now we know abt this site (your brother has his uses!) we will make sure we keep in touch with you this way. Thinking of you - Jo.
Courage is not the absence of fear, or exhaustion or frustration or any of the nasty stuff, but the ability to acknowledge the nasty stuff and push your way through it. You have that and then some. You're truly an inspiration.
huge hugs to you hun...
peace...
Glad to see you feeling better...
I am glad your sickness is subsiding for now Minerva! Keeping you in paryers..sending hugs your way.
3T
I knew it would happen, I just didn't know how long it would take. Now that you know how you will respond to the chemo treatments, perhaps you can "steel" yourself before the next one, if that's possible.
Good for you for persevering, with courage and candor. And don't worry about us - we will be here when you feel well enough to visit.
I'm just really pleased that you are feeling better. Look after yourself Min and don't race back to work too quickly.
Big hugs
sunburnt
So glad the sun has risen once more hon. You thought you were brave, you said. You are. You held on...
(Hey - have spotted another Jo posting here. Maybe I'm going to need another nom de plume?!)
We all knew you could do it. Now it's time to party! :)
The ups and downs of chemo and the side effects are horrible and will certainly attempt to drive a person crazy. Glad to see you haven't been driven to crazy!
I too haven't been feeling so great lately, and have not been checking blogs much lately because of it. Sorry I missed several of your posts at the times you wrote them. Now that I am caught up again for a bit, I must say, I sure do understand the words you speak in each of them! This is one of those times in life I really hate that good old "first hand knowledge" thing! :>)
You are doing a very good job of hanging in there and getting through this. Some day we will look back on these times and it will seem so far in the past and that will be such a very very good feeling!
You came through yet again.....well done!
Lx
Darling do not worry about the blogs you were unable to visit. They should nevertheless feel your warm spirit. Happy you have found a new kind of strength. I think of you.
Min, you are stronger than you know. You're a light in the world that needs to keep shining, so please don't give up. I'm glad to know you're recovered from this round with chemo - a few more cycles and hopefully it will be gone. Lots of love and prayers your way!
P.S. Yes, I'm back. Part of it was SJR's prodding, but part of it was inspired by you. I figured if you can continue blogging despite your weakened condition and heavy burden, then I should be able to suck it up and slog onward, too. Thank you :)
Woohoo!! Time to rest up and celebrate for a little while. How many more rounds are there left in this manic course of treatment? Wrestling with chemo can take a lot out of you. Riding the highs and plummeting to the lows requires a lot of energy and determined will power. Many a lesser being would simply cower at the bottom of the well and snap at any that got close, like wounded animal. Keep at it lass!
I am so glad that you are feeling better. Those respites from feeling ill, even if they only last a short while, are so very important in keeping one's spirit up. Please make the most of your good days and know that we are all thinking of you here in Baltimore...
hey honey
I haven't been here for a couple of days - wow - you've done great. You never cease to surprise with your strength - remember these good days, take stock and give yourself a BIG pat on the back
The SIL
I know I hardly know you but I so wish I could do something more practical to help rather than just offer virtual hugs. I'm so glad you are feeling stronger, you have so much courage and strength, even on those bad days. Much much love to you.
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