Tomorrow, hopefully, the nose of this racehorse turns into the final lap. After tomorrow, it will be three down and three to go. The mud of side effects, tiredness and depression pulls at my ankles as I exhort these tired bones, this tired flesh to face forward. It has been a gruelling six weeks, a six weeks of getting used to ideas that weren't even distant gates on the horizon. 0-60 in six weeks. I have become an expert on cancer, an expert on how I react to it and an expert on how to combine cancer and work... all within so little time..
Now, my nose pulls forward. I smell the scent of the final victory, the clang of the finish gate. This horse is far enough forward that to return now, is the same as to advance. I know that these three fences will be even harder than the first three but I can see the flags waving, I can hear the crowds shouting my name, and the other horses are equally tired. But I have a secret weapon, I have a wonderful crew shouting for me in the stands and with them, I know that with strength of mind, with perseverence and with the teeth clenching guts that got me through childbirth, divorce and moving house, home and career, I can do this.
My body aches, I am tired, dragged down with fatigue but my will, my courage and my intent will get me through.