Tomorrow, hopefully, the nose of this racehorse turns into the final lap. After tomorrow, it will be three down and three to go. The mud of side effects, tiredness and depression pulls at my ankles as I exhort these tired bones, this tired flesh to face forward. It has been a gruelling six weeks, a six weeks of getting used to ideas that weren't even distant gates on the horizon. 0-60 in six weeks. I have become an expert on cancer, an expert on how I react to it and an expert on how to combine cancer and work... all within so little time..
Now, my nose pulls forward. I smell the scent of the final victory, the clang of the finish gate. This horse is far enough forward that to return now, is the same as to advance. I know that these three fences will be even harder than the first three but I can see the flags waving, I can hear the crowds shouting my name, and the other horses are equally tired. But I have a secret weapon, I have a wonderful crew shouting for me in the stands and with them, I know that with strength of mind, with perseverence and with the teeth clenching guts that got me through childbirth, divorce and moving house, home and career, I can do this.
My body aches, I am tired, dragged down with fatigue but my will, my courage and my intent will get me through.
Minerva
13 comments:
GOOD for you, Minerva! Don't let it get you down.
I always cheer on the tired but courageous, determined horses!
I hope the sniffles have disappeared and don't interfere with treatment...
I don't know why "this post" necessarily, but this one had tears streaming down my face Minerva.
You remain in my entire families prayers, at dinner, and at bedtime. As a family we are cheering for you Minerva!
Sending all of our love and prayers dear lady.
3T
Bravo.
Go Minverva - Go Minerva - Go girl go! :)
What a great way to look at it. I am glad to see you are looking at it with such an upbeat attitude. You will make it strides ahead!
You are a brave young woman. Here's to you!
I'm already cheering for you. :)
Feithy
Go Minerva Go!
(Shoutewd while sitting in the grandstand wering my Minerva rocks T-shirt, and waving a large banner that says "Cancer's doomed, mighty lady M is on the go!")
Now.....whree's that beer girl at?
I've just been catching up on the last week or so's posts. You seem to swing from energetic to exhausted, downcast to determined, flat to fired up. I feel for you, it looks and sounds like the physical toll is over-whelming and the mental and emotional burden push you close to breaking point; then your strength and passion kick in and recharge you for another wild ride on the cancer roller coaster.
As someone who loves roller coasters, can I say "Hang on!"
i am just one among the crowd... :)
wishing you -
courage
strength
power
and
peace...
I'm with you Darling mentally holding you tight - you are sooooo brave - by the time you read this you will be suffering badly again, wish I could keep it from you - your prose are brilliant - wish I could write - just know that I think of you constantly and will that cankerous cancer out of your system. Love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Woo Hoo! That's what 'm talkin' bout! :-)
You go girl!!
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