As part of my blogging on cancer, I have wondered sometimes whether to tell the truth or not - I mean, I know that I am honest, but sometimes, sometimes, I steer away from the absolute truth as that is not always what one wants to hear, or ever, to be honest, what one wants to tell. But as I move through this process I keep thinking to myself that I wish someone had told me this or that so that I could have been even more prepared than I was...
I mean, I know, for example, that one loses one's hair with chemo but no one told me that one lost the hair there as well...I mean, it never crossed my mind. And if one loses one's hair there, which one does, then does it go from your arms and legs as well? The answer is that it stays on your arms, but it doesn't grow on your legs or your underarms..so if you wax or shave at the beginning of your treatment, like I did , then you are hairless for the rest of it but not absolutely, strangely enough...
You see, another thing they don't tell you is that it does sometimes grow, but only in clumps. On my scalp for example, there are sections where my hair has grown a little so, to be honest, it looks a little uneven. Rather as though a toddler has attacked it with scissors in the middle of the night.
The other thing is that I was guaranteed baldness. My doctor, my nurse, my compatriots all assured me that I would be bald by the fourth treatment. Well, that just hasn't happened for me. My hair has fallen out in huge clumps - yes, that is true, and there are patches where it is very thin, but I have not, so far been bald or lost my eyelashes and eyebrows, both of which I was told would happen. Of course, there are still two treatments to go and people do say that everyone is different.. but I was told I would definitely lose my hair, and that, so far, has not happened yet.
But the other side effect which I wasn't told about has - yes, I have been called Sir twice.. Never mind that I haven't even lost my left breast yet - I have still been thought to be male.. Strange really at the age of 39, with three children, wearing a skirt, to be called a man. I still haven't thought up a great reply - I just make my voice even more feminine and there is usually an apology but again, something I hadn't anticipated.
What else? Ah, yes, the digestive system. Yes, I knew that the chemo would affect fast reproducing cells which naturally included those of my digestive system so I recognised the fact that I might have nausea or diaarhea both of which are recognised side effects. No one told me of the flatulence though! I mean, now I know why it is called wind after seeing the effects of hurricanes. If you or someone you love is going through chemo, seriously, batten down the windows, staple down the duvet cover and connect a wind mill to your house because you are going to need it! Oh, and don't forget to set the volume of all radios and televisions just a little bit higher - it does help the embarassment factor a great deal..
These rapidly reproducing cells are in the mouth too and chemo really does affect one's breath. I went into school yesterday to say hello and kept wondering why channels were opening up in front of me. Strange, I thought, but maybe I just commanded natural respect - HUH! As if! Today my mother stripped my illusions away from me as she offered me not just one, but two hyper cleaning, strip chemo breath mints to ensure that people could get within three yards of me without being asphyxiated either by the flatulence or the mouth breath.
All this though does help world peace. Yes, I know you think that Minerva has finally lost it, but it is true. I have decided that in my current state I will go and offer myself to Iran as the latest eco-weapon. That means, of course, that there is no need for them to go back into the nuclear factories and it creates an arena where my new found talents are appreciated rather than avoided..
A winner all round, I'd say, wouldn't you?
Minerva
I mean, I know, for example, that one loses one's hair with chemo but no one told me that one lost the hair there as well...I mean, it never crossed my mind. And if one loses one's hair there, which one does, then does it go from your arms and legs as well? The answer is that it stays on your arms, but it doesn't grow on your legs or your underarms..so if you wax or shave at the beginning of your treatment, like I did , then you are hairless for the rest of it but not absolutely, strangely enough...
You see, another thing they don't tell you is that it does sometimes grow, but only in clumps. On my scalp for example, there are sections where my hair has grown a little so, to be honest, it looks a little uneven. Rather as though a toddler has attacked it with scissors in the middle of the night.
The other thing is that I was guaranteed baldness. My doctor, my nurse, my compatriots all assured me that I would be bald by the fourth treatment. Well, that just hasn't happened for me. My hair has fallen out in huge clumps - yes, that is true, and there are patches where it is very thin, but I have not, so far been bald or lost my eyelashes and eyebrows, both of which I was told would happen. Of course, there are still two treatments to go and people do say that everyone is different.. but I was told I would definitely lose my hair, and that, so far, has not happened yet.
But the other side effect which I wasn't told about has - yes, I have been called Sir twice.. Never mind that I haven't even lost my left breast yet - I have still been thought to be male.. Strange really at the age of 39, with three children, wearing a skirt, to be called a man. I still haven't thought up a great reply - I just make my voice even more feminine and there is usually an apology but again, something I hadn't anticipated.
What else? Ah, yes, the digestive system. Yes, I knew that the chemo would affect fast reproducing cells which naturally included those of my digestive system so I recognised the fact that I might have nausea or diaarhea both of which are recognised side effects. No one told me of the flatulence though! I mean, now I know why it is called wind after seeing the effects of hurricanes. If you or someone you love is going through chemo, seriously, batten down the windows, staple down the duvet cover and connect a wind mill to your house because you are going to need it! Oh, and don't forget to set the volume of all radios and televisions just a little bit higher - it does help the embarassment factor a great deal..
These rapidly reproducing cells are in the mouth too and chemo really does affect one's breath. I went into school yesterday to say hello and kept wondering why channels were opening up in front of me. Strange, I thought, but maybe I just commanded natural respect - HUH! As if! Today my mother stripped my illusions away from me as she offered me not just one, but two hyper cleaning, strip chemo breath mints to ensure that people could get within three yards of me without being asphyxiated either by the flatulence or the mouth breath.
All this though does help world peace. Yes, I know you think that Minerva has finally lost it, but it is true. I have decided that in my current state I will go and offer myself to Iran as the latest eco-weapon. That means, of course, that there is no need for them to go back into the nuclear factories and it creates an arena where my new found talents are appreciated rather than avoided..
A winner all round, I'd say, wouldn't you?
Minerva
15 comments:
We can always rely on our mothers, eh?
Lx
I've said it before, but I really do love the way you find humor in everything. Mr. Kenju will definitely hope that I never have to have chemo, as the wind and other effects are alreaaaady present here.
Minerva - Sharing this is a service to all the women who will travel this road behind you.
Given the vivid "wind" description, I must admit that I giggled on reading Barbara's comment about the women who travel this road behind you!
You are so right. So many little surprises they don't tell you. I knew about taste changes but nobody said anything about smell changes. I spent most of my summer with the windows closed as the blossoms outside smelled like rotting meat to me. How weird.
Your ability to string words together with panache is patently unaffected. That, my friend, is what matters most. Everything else is secondary.
God bless your dark humour. I do wonder sometimes though how well our Englishness translates. I get you in a heartbeat and adore it when you're sardonic.
But yes, seriously...the things we are not told. Maybe they were attempting to preserve some sense of dignity.
Thanks for the chuckle hon, take good care.
As always Minerva, reading your posts so filled with truths and humor, is informative, distressing and funny! A GREAT Combination, my dear...You may find certain advantages, by the way, with not having hair..'down there'.(lol)
Isn't that an odd thing though about the sporadic growth of hair in some places and not in others!! Amazing! Always wonderful to come and read your thoughts and feelings...
Min, I just love you xx
LOL...been there, done that. I can send you some info about a post-chemo mouthwash if you like. It's available at a few drugstores over here in the States and is mild in case you have chemo-mouth-sores...
most people that I've met have not become totally bald. We actually shaved Eric's head for a cleaner look, and if I ever have to go through chemo, I think that I'd shave mine too (we jsut got done shaving Gram's head). Wigs and hats seem to go on better when there aren't clumps here and there.
This is tough, but there are a lot of people supporting you, bad breath, "wind," and all...
love,
Amanda
Facinating! I really appreciated all those details :-) It is good to know that there are always exceptions to the rule; and that there are useful side effects like no shaving if one normally does. As for losing it down below ... some people opt for that as a normal style - or so I am led to believe!
I thought I was going to avoid the loss of my eyelashes and eyebrows too. They had thinned a bit but hung on all the way until six weeks AFTER chemo ended. I still, over a year later, have "balding" eye lashes where they suddenly fall out and then regrow. I guess they are all on the same growing cycle now and follow the same pattern. You just never know exactly how each person will be affected, just generally. Looking back, I think if I knew every single thing that could possibly happen as a side-effect, I would have been overwhelmed and fearsome of the process. I knew the majors -- hair, nausea, fatigue -- and the others I dealt with as they came. It sounds like you are too. Hang in there Minerva, you are getting so close. I know you can do it, even if you are wind-propelled to the finish line!
I don't know if you intended this to be humorous or not... but your take on the side effects you are experience brought a smile to my face.
It reminds me that even though treatments of illness is not fun and your feel like a creature from another world, you're still human with the same issues (more or less) than the rest of us.
You remind me so much of Emma Thompson in Wit.... but only a little because read so much grander.
Thanks for telling about the flatulance part.
I truely was starting to to think something had gone terribly wrong with my treatment.
And yes, pubic hair was the very first to go for me, but leaving an underlayer the same as on my (male) legs, which all remained.
Next was my beard, and the kids delighted in pulling chunks of it out thinking it was great sport.
Oh well I guess it's healthy to find pleasure in everything you can.
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