I really wanted this post to be a positive one; a post raving about the two recent awards that I have recieved for this site, as well as a very gossipy rundown of my 40th birthday party but I am afraid that the cancer box isn't shut quite yet. On Friday, I received a letter from the hospital calling me back for further viewings of my right breast as they have seen an 'abnormality'. You may not remember, and indeed only the scar serves to remind me now but the other cancer, if that indeed, is what it is again, was found in the left breast. This would not be recurrence or secondary cancer but a new primary cancer. The chances of that happening three months after finishing radiation? Remote to say the least, and all I want to add is that if there is someone overseeing my odds and luck, couldn't I have won the lottery twice rather than possibly cancer?!
I swing, like a pendulum between two positions; out and out panic on the one hand that this disease WILL kill me, that I do not have the physical or mental resources to fight another year and positivity that I have done it once before, that it didn't kill me last time and that I am being well looked after and checked.. As always the truth is somewhere between the two...
On Tuesday the 17th I shall have a better idea of the truth...
Until then, I am, calmly, quietly, still here....
Minerva
22 comments:
No, it won't
Yes, you do but you won't have to
Yes, you did
That's right, it didn't
Yes, you are
X
*smile*
Thank you Tony as ever stating the obvious....*chortle*
You are not alone and we, as I'm sure all those in your life, will continue here with you.
I did the Race for the Cure here in Denver, Colorado, U.S. today. 70,000 people walked and I want you to know that one of those 70,000 was thinking of you. Hugs. :)
Minerva, thank you for letting us know. I will pray that the abnormality is nothing but scarring or calcium deposits. Keep good thoughts until the 17th. I will be out of town, but I will check back with you after I return. Hope to see good news then.
it won't kill you
you'll kill it instead
love xxx
Minerva-- I know this is nerve-wracking, but I hope everything will be ok. hopefully fibrocystic. keep us posted.
you are here
and so are your friends
and family
and prayers are being offered on your behalf.
and LOVE WINS.
I wish you all the best at this time.
Oh honey...
(So explain to me why you're never at the end of a phone when a person tries to call you to express warm-and-fuzzies? Hmm?)
Just know that, as always, you are in my heart and in my thoughts. Keep us posted.
Warmest love
Minxy
And until then we will continue to pray that the news isn't what we fear it is.
And whatever the outcome, you'll continue to blow us away with your strength and grace. It has no chance, whatever it is.
I shall pray every day for the abnormailty they have seen to be a glitch. Merely a smudge on the glasses of the technician who alerted the doctors.
Just adding my prayers and thoughts and "hereness."
I hate this damn disease! I hate that we had to go through this in the first place...(still doing Herceptin til January) but to have the fear of it brought back.
Sending you love and healthy thoughts dear... ((((big hugs))))
Julie
Thinking about you and hoping that the news today was good. From across the pond...
All will be as it should be whatever that is and no matter what it is, we are here to support/encourage you.
Thinking of you all the time.....! *hug*
Keep up the fight - you have yet to show me what you bought for your birthday. You can model it too!! *grin*
I know that having "virtual" friends pulling for is isn'y quite the same as daily hugs from your friends, but we ARE here and really DO care. Have faith, Minerva, that everything will be OK. xo
oh, I'm such a dolt! I thought you got the news already and you're still waiting. I'm thinking of you and sending positive energy.
I'm in the process of traveling back home from the Blue Ridge Mountains and have been without a connection for my laptop all week. Kenju mentioned your recent post to me, as we've been concerned about you.
Please know I'm thinking nothing but positive thoughts for you and thanks for sharing and letting us know how you're doing. Wishing you the very best news on Tuesday and I'll be back.
So they cleaned their gallses then have they?
Hello, I'd like to present you interesting articles about this disease:
Breast Cancer
Breast Cancer: Trends and Incidence
Breast Cancer: Risk Factors
Breast Cancer: Effective Universal Preventive Interventions
Breast Cancer: Effective Selective Preventive Interventions
Breast Cancer: Effective Indicated Preventive Interventions
Breast Cancer: Practice and Policy Implications
Breast Cancer: Future Directions
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