I am so scared.
I am afraid, scared, and have that awful fear at the bottom of my stomach. All entirely my own fault, I may add.
I have been looking up life expectancies on the web and I really really don't like what I see. 10 per cent chance of making 5 years, 30 per cent chance of making three? That is so close, so near..and every time I think about it tears gather in my eyes.
I am not ready for this, not ready to leave my family, my children, my happiness and my job. I haven't finished what I was born to do, and I need the time..
Please, don't take me away, please don't do this, please...
I am so very very frightened.