Tonight, the lights are on in my house. Tonight, three gorgeous children are snuggling around me on the old worn blue sofas. Tonight I have a hand on each child, and heads cuddling my lap. Tonight, my fears are calmed and my worries soothed.
Tonight, I am a mother. Tonight my children, all my children are home and I am so content. Tonight life is wonderful. Tonight, I am exactly where and how I want to be. Tonight, being a mother at home, watching the television, normally a completely pedestrian activity is heightened to an extraordinary one.
There is no greater love than a parent for their children, and tonight, my heart sings, soars and swoops in happiness at having my children back. I am doing what I was born to do, to nurture, succour and just be there.
I am determined to try and hug this happiness to me. Perhaps in the days ahead, days of tests, needles and scans, I can try and keep this hot water bottle of maternal love warm to insulate me against those awful cold days which I will face.
But that is all for another time. Tonight I am happy to be here, in London, now.