Christmas is heralded by many things: terrible advertisements exhorting you to get your gifts now; awful weather; the smell of pine leaves in the air; wreaths appearing in doorways and exoneration from the usual calorie restrictions we impose on ourselves. On the internet, and particularly in the blogging community, Christmas is announced by Holidailies, an opt in community where each blogger vows to update their blog every day from December 1 to January 1.
It can be demanding and difficult over the holiday time where there is so much going on, but it can also be fun, and I really enjoyed it two years ago when I participated. It is going to be a big holiday this year too. Firstly, I have my children with me this Christmas, secondly, I have secondary cancer, and although I am sure that I will have other Christmases in the future, there is a bitter sweet tinge to the season, and thirdly, I have the next PET scan on the 12th and the results just before Christmas itself, on the 21st of December.
But in my usual ostrich fashion, my head is underground and I refuse to think about that for now. That worries me a little for I am concerned that I may fall apart in the actual appointment depending on the news. I mean, how will I react if I find out it is in one of my organs or in my bones, or if my 'uncertain' present, becomes a certain non-future?
The answer I think is, for the moment, not to ponder upon such issues, but to put them, like Mary's visitation by Gabriel, in my heart and think about them. The answers will come just as tenacity rises in the face of hardship.
And speaking of hardship, I feel so sorry for this poor teacher in Sudan. I was thinking that a teddy bear symbolises companionship, love, tenderness and unconditional acceptance and that if those children equated those values with the name of their God on Earth, then she should receive a medal, not prison.
Enjoy the Christmas build-up,