The Joy of Forgetting.
I am one of those people who always forget where they have put things, especially keys. Every morning, every evening, I mislay them. I can't find them constantly at school forever looking 'in the last place' I had them for those miscreants. If you met me, you would see me ever searching pockets, bags and shelves for the elusive place where I put them last.
I have always cursed this terribly impractical memory of mine. Telephone numbers aren't a problem, but keys, glasses, books and wallet somehow sneak under the radar. At the moment though, I have to say that forgetting is a blessing, for I seem to be forgetting that I have cancer.
So very very strange. The first time diagnosed when I lived with my lump for a full six months before surgery it was the first thought in my head in the morning, and the last when I drifted away at night. It was constantly with me, holding my hand, grasping my steps, holding me back. Last year, when it came back, it was the same. It was something that I was trying to escape; that I saw in black and white. I either had it in me or it was gone, fleeing before the chemo or the surgeon's knife.
Today though, or rather at this time, for I mean it much more broadly than just this little space of 24 hours it really has just slipped my mind. I am busy making plans for tomorrow, next week, next month and even next year. I have a career plan that exceeds the next few months and plans for next Summer with my children and family.
A blessing indeed for it allows me to continue to live my life. I am relieved that people know for it allows me to continue without having to explain, but it does also give me a freedom to live as normal. How little we realise that to live normally is really one of the greatest privileges we have. We do see a little of it when we have flu, (even man flu!) or a hurt leg or arm, but it is even more the case when struck by a chronic disease or illness. Normalcy is not something to be despised but something which is worth more than a palace of gold, or a roomful of jewels.
Minerva
11 comments:
yes, it is indeed a blessing if it frees you up from the constant worry. god bless you, minerva. i continue to pray for your health. :)
I curse my terrible memory - I praise yours :-)
I'm so glad you are getting on with Life and not getting bogged down in 'what if's and 'why me's...
I have just seen the first Famous Grouse advert of the year, which means it must be December and we all have Christmas to look forward to.
[squeezes hand]
cq
health is a great gift, and I appreciate it more each year.
Bless you
You know, you are exactly right. We take our normal boring lives so much for granted, when normal and boring is really such a blessing.I found this out first hand when one morning I awoke with bells palsy. While non life threatening, it was terrifying, and paralysis on one whole side of your face for a year makes for some bad days. Now i take nothing for granted, being able to smile, blink my eye, or talk normally. I believe this is one of the gifts illness gives us--profound greatfulness for things we thought were permanent or owed to us.The plus side of this, is that now it takes very little to make me happy. You always make me think Minerva. Sorry to write a novel.
I wrote about your countenance and courage yesterday and today I find you at the crossroad choosing to travel the path of forgetfulness.
It is a gift you have given yourself and to all of us who have travelled those other paths with you and are now able to join you basking in the sunshine of your life.
Many people yearn for something out of the ordinary in their lives, Minerva. It is too bad that we don't always see how wonderful a normal life is until it is taken from us. I am happy to know that you are able to forget your troubles, even for a little while.
just came back to read that again.
Hi!
Very good. Forget cancer. I have forgotten the "medicine" I went through. Life goes on.
I've always been convinced that it is, indeed, in the forgetting, the letting go...that truly enables us to live.
I like your attitude. Happy Christmas season to you and your daughters.
ALL these Blogger accounts have changed! I can see I'll be doing less and less comments! WHAT a pain...we used to be able to click "other" and put in our URL. I have no Google/Blogger acct. nor do I want one.
Terri
http://www.islandwriter.net
Our house runs on Post-It notes; the shopping list lies on the table for us to add things to during the week or they will be forgotten when we get there. The bottom of my Yahoo news page is the TV listings so I remember what to record and know what's new and not...
Losing the hours I do to work with her on an opposite shift, routine is one thing that saves me. I come in the door my shoes come off so I don't track or make noise because she's asleep. My clothes slip off with all keys and such in the pockets, to be transferred in the afternoon when I get up straight into the next set.
I have locked myself out of the house several times, and twice had to call her to come get me at work through the years.
Guilt works wonders at making me try not to do it again!
:o)
Best of luck with the keys and everything else!
alan
Too often we seek change in a life that isn't too bad already. We tend to be funny creatures in that respect....never quite happy when in a situation yet unhappy when the inevitable discomfort that accompanies change sets in.
I prefer to revel in the moment as it comes. Life is full of opportunities for happiness but we have to allow ourselves the luxury of stopping to enjoy them and appreciate them for what they are.
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