I am not, by nature, a church goer or a church follower. I *think* I am still a Christian, but for obvious reasons my faith wavers mightily, like a candle in a draught. But, and it is a big but, I do love carols and churches before Christmas.
Tonight, was my school's carol service. And as we sang 'The Holly and the Ivy' and 'Little Town of Bethlehem', I did have a bit of an out of body experience as myself, floating high by the stone columns watched the inner me, down in the pews slowly melt to mush.
What is it about an organ, a choir and a harmonious chorus that is so moving? I felt tears prick at my eyes tonight as I looked back over Christmasses past, and those, I hope, to come. It was so special in the tiny little church, with my three children beside me and fellow parents, staff and children all around.
I find too the words that I have heard ever since I was a child, lonely in a Kent boarding school such a comfort. I am sure that much of the reason that I am an English teacher is because the King James' bible's ritual gave me such warmth.
And so Minerva took these things and pondered them in her heart.