Still On Edge
I am so touchy at the moment. I can't seem to take perfectly normal comments and laugh them off as usual. I snap or bite back and can't control myself. I don't do it to people I don't know but those I love most in the world and I have no idea why.
I know that my beloved daughters are off tomorrow to their father's for a week and that may have something to do with it, or the return to work next week, or even that the curtain that shrouds the Christmas season from the rest of the year is slowly closing. Certainly, next year will be an even tougher year than this one. I have no idea if I will be celebrating next Christmas in a wheelchair, or even bed bound or walking. I don't know if the money I am currently being paid will go far enough in the forseeable future or even if there is a forseeable future.
I just can't see it, and wonder what it all holds for me. What will 2008 bring in its wake?
2007 brought debilititating difficult docetaxel which as a chemo is devastating. It took away my mobility, my freedom and my innocence and it disabled me.
Probably why I am a little stressed!
Minerva
4 comments:
You know the saying 'You always hurt the ones you love'.
You snap at loved ones, because they know you, they love you and they understand you and, ultimately, they'll forgive you.
Add to that the stress of things changing on the cusp of the new year, no wonder you're on edge!
Here's to a long and healthy 2008. I sense you will be with us for a long, long time yet.
Store those decorations carefully, you'll need them next year!
cq
Dear Minerva.
I have found myself that I have been getting pretty touchy and even grouchy the last couple of days.
Maybe it is the returning to the regular life after such a nice Christmas.
Because of you, I think that this has been one of the happiest ones yet where I have put people at the top of the best thing about Christmas.[of course Jesus is at the VERY top!]
I know how empty the house is going to be for you without your beloved daughters.
None of us can see what 2008 will hold for us Minerva.
We just have to rely on God and rest in his arms.
On January 10th my dad has to go into the hospital for a serious operation and I just pray that he will be coming out again.
In October when it way his birthday, I just wondered if he would be alright and that was when my niece, Rachel had him and mom and all the family over for thanksgiving and he was alright.
I just wondered if he would live long enough for his birthday in November as I always put his birthday greetings into the local paper and he was alright.He always likes to see his picture in the paper..
Then Christmas...was alright and now January and Mom's birthday in February, I just hope that the operation is a success and he will be alright...
A little stressed I am myself Minerva and I have you in mind when you have to go for your next scan..
The only way that a person can manage this worry is to lay a it all at Jesus' feet and that is what I am going to do!!
You are such a blessing to us Minerva...Have I told you lately how much we all love you?
Well I am telling you NOW...Love Terry
When you feel this happy time ending, I can imagine you thinking that next year won't be the same.
Push to a long and healthy 2008...all the way through. As Craziequeen said, keep those decorations, as you'll need them next year.
You might be able to relieve the stess with a chuckle at my 100 Things..
cq
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