A Target
Today something memorable happened. I bought shampoo from the local supermarket. Yes, I finally have enough hair to wash - how exciting is that? When I look back to April and May when I was completely bald, I used to look at the shampoo aisle and realise, after pangs of yearning, that I was saving so much money, no cuts, no shampoo and no conditioner.
It seems to be emphasised at the moment as my three daughters all want hair straighteners, or curlers for Christmas. Hair, for a woman, is a big deal and even now, after my shampoo addition to my basket, I still miss my long hair. The hair I had before I got cancer the first time. Long dirty blonde hair that waved down to my waist, hair that I played with all the time, twirling it around my fingers.
Do you have any idea how cold it is without hair? How hats just don't feel the same as they itch, they are uncomfortable and they slip. Nothing beats real hair: even a wig just itches and feels uncomfortable.
I can't even face a haircut at the moment. My lavatory brush hair just sticks up and looks silly. Last year, it had just got to this stage when I had to go through chemo again, and of course, that threat does hang in the air like a bad cloud.
But for the moment, my shampoo stands, a trophy to the human instinct for survival, for keeping on keeping on.
Minerva
10 comments:
Having hair to wash is a refreshing step.
Great post. I can relate on a very small scale. My hair just about the only thing I like about my appearance so I have a lot of idenity tied up in it. A bad haircut or dye job can really make me feel bad. I remember when my mom began losing her hair during chemo. She really struggled with wanting to look "normal" for work and wanting to set a "good example" about self image for her daughters. Wishing you many more hair products, long showers, and full recovery.
Lavatory brush/looking silly hair is preferable to none, isn't it? I would be reveling in it!
Funny (well, it isn't actually funny!) how a seemingly simple act of not needing to buy shampoo and then buying it can be so powerful and laden. Such a thing I would never have thought.
You are a gift from God. Bless you and keep you and your daughters. Thank you sharing yourself with us. I have two daughters - both away at university and law school. They are everything to me. I pray that you and your girls find peace during this time. It's difficult to say that you "love" someone whom you've never met, but your light shines. Sorry - not quite sure how to express it, but I want you to know that I think about you and your children, and that I pray for you daily.
I hate my hair, it has always been thick and heavy, could never hold a style or a colour....
But I think I would be lost without it altogether...
When we're comforting an ill friend who has lost their hair, it is second nature to attempt to comfort the friend by dismissing the lost hair as a small thing.
Deep down we all know that it is not only the loss of the hair, but everything it signifies as well.
Your spiky hair is a tribute to your indefatigable(sp?) nature and the fact that despite Mr C's best efforts you are still here and still fighting on. I think you should definitely keep your 'first bottle' as a trophy.
[thinks] you know, I knew a woman who lost her hair through chemo, and when it started to grow back all thin and spiky, she coloured it a different colour every week, using food dyes or hair pens. Nothing caustic. You could go purple, or streaky, or hot pink!
I'll be calling by every day this month, as you are committed to holidailies :-), internet allowing - our wireless died last night at home :-(
cq
I can oh so relate! My hair is coming back, slowly but surely. I still have a bald spot on the top of my head where radiation was the strongest, but I counted and I have 8 hairs pushing their way through!
And yes, it is so very cold with out hair, so very cold.
You can see update pictures on my blog, if you like :)
Still praying for you and thinking about you... you cross my mind daily.
-H
You know, honey, one day soon you might even need a hairbrush eh?
;-)
I'm glad you're doing this hollidailies thing. Missed you.
I'm glad you have hair to enjoy again...my almost bald pate misses it much!
alan
Long may you have hair to wash. And long from now when you are brushing out your new mane of hair may you look back and remember the hard lessons.
I did a cancer fund raising head shave once and spent the winter with naught but stubble. It gave me a whole new appreciation for the insulating capabilities of a head of hair.
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