Memo
I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have cancer - how bizarre is that? Tonight I drove past a Centre which is being built next to my hospital for people who are living with cancer. Just one week ago I was talking to a counsellor about being a regular visitor there and about telling my children that I had secondary cancer.
Just a week ago, I was having the CT scan which has changed my life. I have never had a day like Friday where, suddenly, the world's worries were completely lifted from my shoulders. I completely understand how someone on Death Row feels after a pardon, because I truly felt that I was really alive, that I had my life back, and that the world lies open to me.
The thing is that cancer has constantly been at my elbow for nearly two and a half years. It has haunted my dreams, it has sabotaged my plans and it has been the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I have slipped away from at night. Preparing for the next visit, the next scan, the next bombshell has been my entire focus and now, that's all gone.
I have holidays to plan, I can think about doing everything I want to with no constrictions or boundaries, and best of all, supreme above all other things, I have hope that I will see my gorgeous daughters blossom and grow into the fine adults I know they will be.
Minerva
I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have cancer - how bizarre is that? Tonight I drove past a Centre which is being built next to my hospital for people who are living with cancer. Just one week ago I was talking to a counsellor about being a regular visitor there and about telling my children that I had secondary cancer.
Just a week ago, I was having the CT scan which has changed my life. I have never had a day like Friday where, suddenly, the world's worries were completely lifted from my shoulders. I completely understand how someone on Death Row feels after a pardon, because I truly felt that I was really alive, that I had my life back, and that the world lies open to me.
The thing is that cancer has constantly been at my elbow for nearly two and a half years. It has haunted my dreams, it has sabotaged my plans and it has been the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I have slipped away from at night. Preparing for the next visit, the next scan, the next bombshell has been my entire focus and now, that's all gone.
I have holidays to plan, I can think about doing everything I want to with no constrictions or boundaries, and best of all, supreme above all other things, I have hope that I will see my gorgeous daughters blossom and grow into the fine adults I know they will be.
Minerva
posted by Minerva at 1/23/2008 04:31:00 PM
48 Comments:
Minerva, I am here from Michael Mannings blog. CONGRATULATIONS!! I am so happy for you. May you have a wonderful new life ahead :D
Hi Minerva: After such a wonderful reprieve, new doors are opening now and I can only imagine the beauty and the relief of now being able to revisit your many goals! I share in your great news!! :)
LOL Will we have to keep reminding you too?
Do you pinch yourself to see if this is all real?
After all this time it is bound to take a time to re-adjust to life without cancer. Time to smell the crocuses, and the daffodils, and the roses and the autumnal flowers and next Christmas' pines, and the following Spring's crocuses....
:-D
It really is like a brand new life isn't it? At first I was happy for your good news. Now I am excited for you at all the possibilities ahead.
Min lately when I come in here I can't wipe the doofy smile off of my face. I'm just so danged pleased for you and those girly girls of yours!
Life is Saaaweeet! xxoo
Hi Minerva... I continue to celebrate with you, and I just wanted to send you a poem I wrote about "Hope". Even those of us who have not been healed or still are going through our journey, it is such a joy to see others get well and get a second chance at life. yet we must never forget that in was in those darkest times that we discover our trus strength within..
This si for you my sister...
Like a seed planted in the ground
Nothing but darkness surrounds
There it dies but soon comes to life
As it battles it's way up to the light.
The waiting can seem so very long
Feeling lonely but not alone
It takes root and becomes strong
Waiting seems endless and so prolonged.
Until finally it can see some light
Dimly through the soul not very bright
But hope bursts forth with anticipation
No more darkness no more waiting.
For in the darkness God was creating
A flower for his glory one so elating
One for the world to enjoy and see
A creation giving praises unto thee.
In your darkness please understand
You are never alone, but in his hands.
Copyrite © 2007 Encouragement From My Heart
Sometimes it's spending time in the darkness
that we can truly appreciate the light.
I find that it is in my darkest moments when
my creativity comes alive to write of hope.
I guess it's God way of getting me out of the
darkness, so I won't dwell there too long. Hugz Joyful
it is true- there is nothing so precious as seeing a daughter turn into a lovely young woman.
So glad for your new point of view
Wonderful, wonderful news.
With a mother like you, your daughters would have to be fine adults. Now that you're not gonna die anytime soon, when you gonna visit me?
I know I'd have to read the results every morning for a while before I believed I hadn't dreamed them!
That last paragraph is the one that really makes my heart glow!
alan
So so happy for you Minerva!
Of course with your overseeing their growth, your daughters should bloom and grow to be wonderful ladies....Love Terry
Isn't it just FANTABULOUS????????
Wonderful, wonderful news. I'm so glad. I read here often and you've been in my thoughts.
It must be so hard to actually believe that you are free at last from the shadow that has been over you.
Wow - this is the best of all reprieves....
So much to do, so much to see...
Don't forget to pop by now and then and let us know what you're getting up to....if you get time in your new hectic lifestyle...
cq
In all the world, there is no brighter light than the one that shines in your eyes when they gaze at your beautiful daughters. How much more meaning can this life have that this glowing reflection in their faces?
I remember my Mom saying that once she was cleared it was tricky figuring out what to do with the time and brain power that was suddenly surplus thanks to the victory over her cancer. Sort of an anticlimactic finish, although a good one. It's not a bad problem to have at all.
I can only imagine the directions your new health will take you.
Rejoicing with you, Minerva. One day at a time, for the rest of our lives. bless you and yours, with love, Su
This is amazing news :D
And yes, it's difficult to grip when you've had to get use to live without being able to make any plans, but you'll get use to it again :)
Enjoy what's ahead of you and I wish you all the best :D
My scare was probably not as severe as yours because I got answers sooner ... Mine only lasted a week ..... But believe me I know the joy you are feeling!
hehehe - you still writing your 'shopping' list for Life, Minerva??
cq
Congratulations!!! Such a relief...with such drama! Those yearly exams are such a drag...I don't dare breathe for at least a week prior. Then finally, a sign. But this...I think I'd be dancing on the rooftops!!! Do go celebrate! Yo deserve it.
That must be an amazing feeling.
Wow. Wow wow wow. I drop away for a few days and this? Wow. Let's plan! :)
Minerva, I'm stopping back after a long, long time away. I just wanted to say that I'm so THRILLED to read your amazing news. I've said this before, you've been in my daily prayers. How incredible that they were answered.
God bless. Continue to enjoy your life and all the good things you deserve.
Hugs from Wisconsin!
I'll say it again, what an amazing gift! Yours is a story I will remeber for many days to come. I pray for God's continued grace over your life.
Just waiting to hear my dad is all-clear(!?!), and life will be good again.
I have to say, my family has no idea what to do when faced with the possibility of terminal illness. We don't chat as a rule, so we feel awkward about chatting about potential illness.
It's interesting to see the differences between how your close and vibrant family dealt with the news and how my fractured and restrained family is dealing with it.
cq
Had you been aware that your intense pain and suffering could culminate in supreme hope and planning holidays with no boundariesor restrictions would no doubt have seemed surreal but.... OH the rapturous joy that was yet to come. I am so happy for you my heart is full with the wonder of it all.
welcome back to your very own life.
(if you see mine, will you tell it to come home soon?)
I have to add expression of my joy at hearing you are cancer free !! What greater gift could you have been given !!
Thank God for your life !!
It has been over a week since you posted. I know that you have much to process right now, but please remember that all of us who have responded really do care, and we need to hear that you are OK. (or, at least, I do). You are dearly loved, Minerva.
OH, How WONDERFUL...I come to check on you from time to time and pray for you...what a blessing to visit today and read of this. I am so happy for you!! Praising the Lord!!! *hug*
Hi Minerva...Greetings from the land of the beaver!!
It is some winter this year...lots and lots of snow and more staying at home...
Hope everything is going well with you and the family....Love Terry
American football is over, but we are still not safe. The Basketball thugs now rule the Tele and the American Idol foolishness. I wish I could hibernate, especially since i HAVE ENOUGH SNOW TO MAKE A NICE CAVE.
and the flakes just keep on coming.
How are you? Don't make me send the reporters to your door.
Minerva I am so very happy for you. What wonderful brilliant news.
Hugs from Arizona babe xx
I keep picturing you doing all the things some folks might call mundane ...like walking in the rain with your girls, holding hands and jumping over the puddles and I can hear the sound of your laughter. Every day is a new day to do something simple and silly and wonderful. Color my pictures beautiful.
Dear Minerva....As my friend, Jel would say[the sunshine of my life],Here is a "fly by hug" for you and God's blessings!!..Love Terry
I am so happy for you. This is such wonderful news after all you've been through. I've been checking in whenever I've had a spare moment (not many now with four kids!) to see how you're doing and this just makes my heart happy. :)
How is it all going reclaiming your life? Thinking of you .... half term shortly and hope you have extra special times with your girls. ((Hugs))
i will bet you are off to spain again.
when you return - remind yourself that you have a blog, and readers...
( i am whining, and I know it )
Oh Minerva...You don't how happy I am to see 35 turn to 40 and that you are OK.If you are in Spain like David said, that's OK too..
Just let us know how you are!..Love Terry
That was really great to hear...it is like new life has been given to you and make the most out of it...
WOW!
I used to read your blog a long time ago now when I had a blog with blogger. I stopped my blog and kind of drifted away.
I found your blog again today and find this wonderful news!
Congratulations from Scotland!
Take Care
Nikki (ivoryfrog)
I am so thrilled for you, Minerva. The word, life, keeps flashing in front of my eyes as I read this wonderful entry.
I know you will continue to view the world through your finely honed lens. I know we'll all hang on your every word and observation.
Great news, Minerva
I've posted 2 comments over the last 2 days that have not shown up...wonder where in cyberspace they have gone??
Life can be a little like the sun peeking out behind the clouds, only to tease us and disappear again sapping all the warmth and energy our bodies need to be strong in the face of newfound hope. Life is not always simple but it can be simply and gloriously and divinely more beautiful when we try not to expect too much from it all at once. Soon the cloudy days will be filtered by a rising sun followed by a falling moon and all the stars in the heavens that shine and sparkle just for you.
hi minerva.i hope you continually get better each day.
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