I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have cancer - how bizarre is that? Tonight I drove past a Centre which is being built next to my hospital for people who are living with cancer. Just one week ago I was talking to a counsellor about being a regular visitor there and about telling my children that I had secondary cancer.
Just a week ago, I was having the CT scan which has changed my life. I have never had a day like Friday where, suddenly, the world's worries were completely lifted from my shoulders. I completely understand how someone on Death Row feels after a pardon, because I truly felt that I was really alive, that I had my life back, and that the world lies open to me.
The thing is that cancer has constantly been at my elbow for nearly two and a half years. It has haunted my dreams, it has sabotaged my plans and it has been the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I have slipped away from at night. Preparing for the next visit, the next scan, the next bombshell has been my entire focus and now, that's all gone.
I have holidays to plan, I can think about doing everything I want to with no constrictions or boundaries, and best of all, supreme above all other things, I have hope that I will see my gorgeous daughters blossom and grow into the fine adults I know they will be.