How ironic that having faced what was, probably, the greatest fight of my life, that I am struggling so much with dealing with real life. When you are dying, everything gets slightly left. After all, what on earth is the point of painting the house, fixing the car, sorting out the junk, when you are not going to be around to see it?
But now, now that I am not going to 'shuffle my mortal coil', for a certain time, I feel as though I really can't cope. I am snowed under at work, but unable to concentrate so everything is taking twice as long. Other people, dear family and friends, have naturally ratcheted up their expectations, but I feel I can't meet them.
I feel in a vortex of confusion, tiredness and apathy, and I have no idea why.
Hence, I may add, the lack of posting. I figure that after a near death experience like this, people only want to hear good news. Of course I am thrilled that I don't have cancer at the moment, and that it didn't come back, but real life with its busyness and expectations is all proving rather more difficult than I realised.